What?! Gamer Money? No Thanks – The Kids Can Just Starve

The following news post comes from Giant in the Playground, the home of a comic strip I enjoy called “The Order of the Stick” written by Rich Burlew. While I’m not a D&D player, I think it’s a cool hobby, and, contrary to popular belief, there is nothing satanic or demonic about it. Anyway, the creator of D&D, Gary Gygax, died a while back. GenCon, a popular gaming convention, had a charity auction with the proceeds going to his favorite charity in his honor. The charity promptly turned the money down because it game from the sale of D&D paraphernalia. Read below for more details. I have kept the links from the original story, so hopefully they work.

10/31/2008

As has been reported by a few other gaming blogs and news sites, the Charity Auction at this year’s GenCon Indianapolis was held to benefit Gary Gygax’s favorite charity, which I will not name here for reasons that will soon become obvious. The fine folks at GenCon raised over $17,000 for this charity, which helps starving children in impovershed areas of the world–only to have that money actually turned down by the charity. The charity refused due to the fact that the money was raised partly by the sales of Dungeons and Dragons materials, which as we all know, puts an irrevocable taint of evil on the filthy lucre that us demon-worshipping gamers might want to use to, say, donate to starving children. Not only is this a slap in the face to every gamer, but it is especially insulting to Mr. Gygax himself, who I understand donated to their cause many times over the years. Plus, I’m sure the children who would have gotten food or clean drinking water with that money would be sort of upset, too.

I bring this story to your attention not simply so that you might let the people at this charity know how you feel (especially if you have donated to it before, as many did in the wake of Mr. Gygax’s passing), but so that you would be aware that there is an alternative charity that I would personally recommend (based on our own charitable giving) if you have a desire to donate money to help starving children. Plan USA is a worldwide charity aimed at helping those who live in poverty and/or have suffered from a natural disaster, particularly with monthly sponsorships of individual children. Since the money of D&D players is clearly not welcome at this other charity, I can’t recommend Plan USA highly enough to those interested in giving anyway. At least if you choose to donate through them, there’s no chance your generous gifts to the starving children of the world will be rejected due to your weekend hobby.

(Incidentally, GenCon was also able to find another worthy charity with an entirely different focus, the Fisher House Foundation, that was willing to accept the money given in good faith by GenCon attendees.)

I find this ridiculous. This charity took Mr. Gygax’s money for years, though it came from the proceeds of the “devil’s game,” as I’m sure they call it. So why turn away over $17,000 that could have fed many hungry children? Wow. I just don’t even know what to say. I suppose I’m mostly confused. In these hard economic times, why would they turn down money given out of love for this man and what he created, especially when this was deemed his “favorite” charity? People are stupid. I highly recommend that, if you choose to donate money, that you do so to an organization that cares more about their cause and those who’ll benefit than taking a “moral stand” against something as benign as a game.

I have noticed that the “Let them know you how feel” link above sometimes doesn’t work. Here’s the e-mail address that it should have taken you to, along with the subject it suggested:

E-mail: algoddard@ccfusa.org     Subject: Rejecting the goodwill of roleplaying gamers?

Fun Times on the Interwebs

So, quite often I use this delightful toolbar called StumbleUpon to get my jollies.  It almost always provides me with hours of enjoyment, though lately it’s been showing me some pretty boring stuff.  I have amassed a list of things that I’ve found amusing, interesting, or both.

How to Win a Fight Against Twenty Children – Who can’t use this kind of advice?  I can’t tell you how many times I’m attacked by a gang of children.  I love that the article starts by saying it’s your business why you need to win a fight against twenty children, and it even goes so far as to list potential causes for the altercation.  Classic.

A Budding Rock Star – This is adorable, and I’m not even a kid person!  Maybe I would be if I saw a little more of this rather than tantrums and lazy parenting.

The Funniest Old Lady Ever – I think Ellen Degeneres is hilarious, but Ellen is not the one causing everyone to crack up in this video.  It’s a sweet old lady who has called in to the show to tell Ellen that the plant is positioned in a less-than-flattering way.  This lady is absolutely wonderful!

The Apostrophe Vigilante – Ah, to be independently wealthy…  If I was, I’d be out helping this noble cartoon character with his cause.  Down with unnecessary and/or inappropriate apostrophes!

Real Elf Ears – I’m a bit baffled by this.  To each their own, but I really can’t understand why anyone would want to do this.  It sounds painful to me, and I think there’s little reward.  After all, you can purchase some pretty decent elf ears at any Ren Festival.

Create-Your-Own Conspiracy Theory – Too lazy to pick a conspiracy theory or create one?  Well, I’ve found the website for you!  It’s like a mad lib.  It’s amusing to fill this in and see what is spit out.  Good times.

Crazy Cooking Gadgets – I’m alternately confused, disgusted, and intrigued by the items on this page.  A few are relatively normal, most are completely extraneous, and others just gross.  I’m certainly not interested in trying a cheeseburger that comes from a can.  It’s just wrong.

Suspicious Vans – This is just funny to me.  Maybe I’m morbid, crazy, or both, but I think it’s amusing.  Points for using the term “rape-wagon,” too.

Ahhh…don’t you love the internet?  It’s a glorious place.

Addendum:

Don’t Hassle the Hoff – Oh my.  I’m not a fan o’ “the Hoff,” so this amused me a lot.  I am offended by his violation of that sharpei puppy, though.  Where is PETA when you need them?!  The credit for this one goes to my lovely friend, Megan, who provides me with many enjoyable links.  Thanks, Megan!

Addendum Part Two:

Passive Aggressive Notes – THIS site is fabulous.  I spent hours and hours going through these posts.  I read too many familiar scenarios, though.  It’s like they’ve been watching my life!

Ok, no more edits to this post.  I promise.

A New Guilty Pleasure

My, oh, my.  I believe that so-called “Rednecks” and their doings are infinitely amusing. The success of Jeff Foxworthy, Rodney Carrington, and other such comedians only prove my point.  I’m sure there are those who are not amused by this stuff, but who cares?  Let’s focus on me and my enjoyment.  I have the Redneck Game of Life and Trailer Park Wars, and they will likely never cease to make me giggle.

Until recently, I was not aware of this delightful TV show called “My Big Redneck Wedding” on CMT.  Oh, what a wonderful program.  I caught the last 60 seconds, possibly less, of an episode and I was hooked.  Let me give you a rundown of the first full episode I caught.

Kyle and Geneva

A little about the happy couple.  They are from somewhere in Tennessee, and they are both 18.  Apparently, in their area, it’s frowned upon to even kiss before you’re married, so they’re looking forward to not getting ugly stares for kissing in public.  He likes to blow things up, and she loves camouflage.  When she told her parents the kind of wedding she wanted, there was a very awkward moment.  Her parents thought it was in poor taste, but decided to let her have her way.  After all, trust me – this wedding couldn’t have cost more than $2,000, and that’s only because the dress, as I’ll mention later, was very pretty and, I believe, designer.

The location: a golf course.  Near a picnic table.  The golf course’s event room looked normal…she said it had to be changed.  So what did they do?  They hung quilts on the wall to cover up some of the undesirable things, like windows.  They didn’t hang them well, either.  Animal heads were brought in and hung on the walls and/or put on tables.  I can only guess they were meant to be centerpieces.  Also showing up as centerpieces:  a basket of fake sunflowers and a vase full of candy corn.  Speaking of candy corn…

Kyle attempted a cake.  His grand design was to make a 4-foot-tall chocolate cake.  He sought to achieve this feat a la Cake Wrecks:  He cooked about 6 round chocolate cakes one at a time…and threw candy corn in the mix!  As he finished each round cake, he put it on a plate (without cutting some off to make it flat, so it was rounded on top), and put a layer of whipped cream.  I don’t mean Cool Whip, either.  I mean the stuff in a spray can.  He’d then pile another layer on, and so on, until he had a cake about 12 inches tall.  It was falling over.  His friend, wisely, said that it wasn’t going to work to serve at the wedding.  Glad SOMEONE has some sense.  So, what did they do?  They took it outside, put it on a tree stump, and shot it.  Yes, shot it, then giggled profusely.  I’d never seen anyone shoot a cake before.  Delightful.

It just wouldn’t be a wedding without bachelor/bachelorette parties.  The bachelorette and her female friends/family gathered at the house for what I can only assume was a FUN party.  For those who don’t know what these are, I’ll explain.  It’s a party where someone comes and tries to sell you stuff like dildos, creams, and other sex-related novelties and toys.  At one point, the organizer was showcasing something called “Coochie Cream.”  It was shaving cream for your naughty bits.  The organizer said, “I sell as many of these to men as I do women!  They use it when they shave, and their faces are softer than you could imagine.”  One partygoer said, “Yeah, we all know where the face goes.”  Another older lady sighed and said, “We hope!”

The bachelor party was filled with drinking and blowing shit up.  No surprise there.  At one point, the groom said, “It’s a redneck tradition to prank the first person to pass out.”  One of his groomsmen passed out in his truck, so he took a Sharpie and wrote “boob” on his forehead.  Classy.

And we’ve made it to the big day!  The dress is a gorgeous shade of emerald green.  I have to give her a little credit for that.  It’s beautiful.  It looks more like a prom dress, but whatever.  However, the veil was green mesh with a camo border.  The wedding party is dressed in, what else, camo.  Wowza.  Groomsmen are wearing camo coveralls.  Wait a second – so are the bridesmaids!  The groom is wearing what looks like a camo sport coat over a tan t-shirt.  Sunflower boutonniere, of course.  The flower girl is adorable in a little green dress.  Good for her.  The bride pulled up in a tractor, and had Daddy, decked out in camo, walk her down the aisle.  And the first kiss as man and wife?  Porno tongue.  Seriously.  Keep it in your pants for a bit.

Reception cuisine:  pigs in a blanket, pork rinds, pigs’ feet, cornbread, beans…  Tasty.  The groom proclaimed, “The beans is startin’ ta work!”  Yikes.  The happy couple left the reception and went out to the picnic table to exchange wedding presents.  The bride said, “I know we don’t want to have kids for a while, so I thought I’d buy us a pet.”  She bought him a skink, which is a lizard.  Interesting choice.  The groom gave his lovely bride a pink rifle.  Yes, he bought her a firearm.  That’s not going to work out well for him when they have their first fight, but I suppose he’ll learn his lesson.

Thirty minutes goes so quickly.  I need more!  We only get the highlights, so an hour would probably be enough to really follow them.  For instance, I believe I spied gummy bears or jelly beans on the cake, but I couldn’t be sure.  Since they didn’t follow them to the cake shop or show a close up of the cake, so I guess I will never know.  Regardless of leaving me dying for more, I highly recommend this fabulous program.

Have I Mentioned That I Hate People?

I’m not a kid person.  Any friend of mine can tell you that.  However, that doesn’t mean I hate children, contrary to popular belief.  In fact, I have friends who have kids that don’t make me want to shoot myself when I’m around them, thank you very much.  Regardless of the fact that I’m not the maternal type, it breaks my heart to hear about some poor kid being mistreated.  A friend sent me this tonight, and I could not believe it!  I can’t imagine thinking that was a good idea and actually doing it!  Know what?  You could have made ANYTHING fly.  It didn’t have to be a baby.  How about a toy?  A book?  You know, something that can’t get a concussion.

It saddens me to see all the stories lately about people who’ve done things like microwave their baby, burning their children with an iron, or whatever other horrible things you can imagine.  It also kills me to read about people doing those sorts of things to animals.  I just don’t understand it.  I do understand frustration to the point of breaking – I’ve been there many times in my life.  But to do something so terrible to a defenseless (or nearly defenseless) living, breathing being?  Inexcusable.

What also bugs me is that there’s got to be someone who saw the warning signs or saw something go down that could lead to further abuse.  They obviously didn’t report it, and often the child (or animal) pays the ultimate price.  I wish people would have the integrity to stand up to these people.  You don’t have to confront them.  In fact, that might just make the problem worse.  Just report them.  Someone has to protect them, because they can’t protect themselves.

PSA: A Dangerous Dog Toy

My husband found this, and I really want to pass it along as far as I can.  Many times, you can’t assess the validity of a claim you see on the internet; however, in this case, lots of dog owners have spoken up that this has happened to their dogs as well.  Most of them, thankfully, were home and able to free Fido from the ball.  This little guy wasn’t so lucky.  Read about it here, and if you’re compelled to do so, I would urge your local pet stores to remove this toy from the shelves.  Also, pass it along to other dog owners and dog lovers.  I’d hate to see another dog suffer the same fate.

Gems from “The Hoff”

So, David Hasselhoff is a judge on America’s Got Talent.  This still baffles me, as the man has no discernible talent of his own other than being an idiot and leering at and/or drooling over women.  He claims to be a singer, but it’s laughable.  He claims to be an actor, and that, though better, is still shit.  However, he has one talent that is undisputed:  He can make some of the most idiotic remarks ever and get cheered on for them.

This week on America’s Got Talent, he made three remarks that just made me go, “What the fuck?!”  Here they are, along with my remarks:

“It’s as American as the Olympics!” — I don’t remember what he was referring to, but I think he’s confused.  The Olympics are meant to be an International gathering of athletes.  Yes, Americans are there, but so are Chinese, British, and all sorts of other people.  So how can they be deemed American?  I think I realize where he was trying to go with it – that watching and supporting the Olympics was “American” – but it’s still a stupid statement.  People cheered, of course.

“We’ve got a lot of zoo characters, we’ve got a lot of impersonators, and we’ve got a lot of dancers…but you know what?  You’re a man, and you inspire me.” — Wow.  Just wow.  That didn’t make any damn sense.  Yes, he’s a man.  Um, hooray?  Why should that inspire you?  I know that he meant he was inspired by this guy’s sacrifice for his country.  That is something that people should respect and appreciate.  However, this quote sounded like the Hoff was looking for inspiration in these random places.  Zoo characters?  OH yes.  That’s where I get my inspiration.  I think that Dave hits the bottle a bit before the show…

“June is popping out all over!  Are you Pamela Anderson’s Mom?” — This little nugget of joy was directed at a beautiful blonde burlesque dancer named June.  This woman was stunning.  She was maybe 35…MAYBE.  Tall, leggy, busty, and had a beautiful smile.  Gorgeous long blonde hair, and some pretty tattoos.  I am biased, though, as I like tattoos.  Anyway, the point is, she was perfect and young-looking…and he proceeded to ask her if she was Pamela Anderson’s MOM.  For those who don’t know, Pammy is 41.  Assuming a teenage pregnancy at 14, best case scenario is that he’s asking June if she’s 55.  How is that flattering?  He could have asked if she was Pamela’s twin or sister or whatever.  But her mother??  And people clapped.  Go figure.

I really love Piers and Sharon, and I feel that they have good input and that said input comes from a vast knowledge of the business.  That being said, I really don’t see what David’s purpose is.  I feel like he brings nothing to the table other than his senseless prattling and incredulous facial and hand gestures.  I think we should replace him with Simon Cowell.  I always enjoy the angry British guys, mostly because they’ll say what needs to be said.  Down with the Hoff!

Why?

Just say no!

Ugh.  Why?  And who would fund this ridiculous suckfest?  Sigh.  The shittiness will never end.

For $200 a Ticket, Don Henley Better Sing to Me PERSONALLY

Ridiculous.  Completely ridiculous.  What, you ask?  Let me tell you.  Concerts have gotten disgustingly expensive.  I found out that the Eagles are touring again, and I’d like to see them before they stop.  You never know – this might actually be the last one.  Never mind that the tour before last was called the “Farewell Tour.”  But either way, I decided to see if they were coming close enough for me to see.  They were, so I went to Ticketmaster.com to price tickets.  I chose 2 Best Available tickets, expecting about $100/ticket (as I wasn’t trying to get super-spiffy VIP passes or anything).  The search completed, and the total for 2 tickets on the lower level (not on the floor) was over $400!  I thought I was going to have a heart attack.  What the fuck were these tickets made out of?  Don Henley’s hair?  Glenn Frey’s tears?  Perhaps it includes a free night at the Hotel California.  Feel free to insert any other atrocious Eagles-song related jokes and/or puns.  Damn that Witchy Woman at Ticketmaster…Ok, I’m done.

Why is it that bands think they can command $200 a ticket for roughly an hour to an hour and a half of playing music?  Yes, the Eagles are great, and yes, they’ve been in “the biz” for a long time, but good Lord.  Let’s say you sell 1,000 of those $200 tickets.  That’s roughly 5-10% of capacity of most arenas. That alone is $200,000.  $200,000!  People are having problems paying their mortgages and bills these days, and you’re selling tickets for $200?  Wow.  I’m just in shock.  Take It Easy, alright?  Sorry.  Couldn’t help it.

Let’s talk about the other side of this coin.  I paid $115/ticket for good seats to see Bon Jovi and Daughtry, and let me tell you, I got every penny out of that.  They played for hours and put on one Hell of a show.  Bon Jovi is every bit as awesome as the Eagles, so why is it that his tour was so much cheaper to attend?  I should add that the exact tickets that I had for Bon Jovi were in the $200/ticket section for the Eagles.  It should be noted that there are cheaper tickets to see the Eagles, but they are so far up that you might as well not even be there live.  There comes a point when your seats are so far up that you are just seeing singing, dancing ants.  The “cheap” tickets are still $55/ticket after fees.  I have a Heartache Tonight.  Goddamnit, I can’t stop.

Well, Don, Glenn, … and those other guys:  Looks like I’ll be missing you this time around, too.  Though you are amazing, your ticket prices are ridiculous.  Sigh.  There is truly a Hole in the World.  Well, my world at least.  It’s just so easy to stick those in there.  I need to stop.

Moral of the Story:  These bands need a serious reality check.  Sure, they rock, but I damn sure can’t afford to pay $200 for an hour of singing, you know?  Quick comparison:  2 good tickets for the concert = $200 plus parking (probably $10).  Sitting at home with a nice Tequila Sunrise and listening to one of their CDs = $25 (assuming you don’t have tequila, orange juice, and the red shit and you don’t own the CD, otherwise, it’d be free).  Live music rocks, but not that damn much.

Things That Bring Me Joy

Ahh…sometimes things on the internet just make my day.  StumbleUpon is the greatest timewaster in the entire world.  I can spend hours stumbling around on the internet.  I don’t know how many hours of my life it has stolen, so I’ll just say a lot.  Here are some things I’ve stumbled upon recently that have made me giggle.

Simon’s Cat – This is my life.  Enough said.

Zefrank Dancing – Silly little page, but should give you at least a chuckle or two.

The Internet is Wonderful – So very true.  I wonder how many people searched for that (don’t want to give it away) after reading this comic?

Facebook Profile Deletion – Oh yes.  Damn lolcats to Hell.  Well, no, not the actual cats – just the assholes who think it’s cute to completely ass-rape grammar, punctuation, and spelling.  There is a website called May I Have a Cheeseburger? that takes all of the bastardized pictures from I Can Has Cheezburger and puts them in English.  I love them for that.  I refuse to link to I Can Has Cheezburger? on the grounds that it would make me feel dirty.  I will not be a party to anyone finding that website.

Cake Wrecks – When I found this website last night, I went through every damn post that had been made since it was started and laughed my ass off.  I have had something similar happen.  I wish I had a picture, but I’ll just tell the story instead.  I ordered a cake at the Target bakery.  It was to be one of the cakes where you scan a picture and it prints the image onto the frosting.  At that point, the thin sheet of frosting with the picture on it is placed on top of the cake.  This isn’t rocket science.  Though I’ve never done it, I would imagine it to be pretty easy.  I arrived to pick up the cake, and the whole sheet with the image was blue instead of white (as it was supposed to be – the background of the image was white, and we’d specified it was to be a white background).  Upon looking a little closer, I noticed that across the image, there was a nutritional label in a darker blue.  I figured that it bled onto the cake from somewhere else, or maybe it was on whatever cardboard backing they had to use to scan the image..  Either way, they fully intended to sell me this cake!  Never mind the fact that it was the wrong color and that there was a nutritional label across the image….they didn’t see what was wrong with that.  Sigh.  I should point out, though, that we talked to a different guy, and he busted his butt to fix it for us.  It turned out that something was wrong with the scanner thingie, so he worked feverishly to fix that for us.  Really nice guy!

Hooray for the internet.  It has put a smile on my face.

Dragon Wars: D-War (2007), PG-13

Ok, it’s time for a little anger.  Well, it is probably better categorized as disappoinment.  I remember seeing the previews for this movie, and there were dragons and shit.  It looked, at the very least, like an action-packed movie with cool effects.  With those, you don’t care a whole lot whether there is a plot or not.  I wouldn’t say that I actively wanted to watch this movie, as I knew it would be devoid of meaning and purpose, but I didn’t object, thinking that I’d at least see some cool shit.

I drifted in and out while watching this movie.  I just couldn’t keep myself concentrated on it because it was so very boring.  You know all of those sweet scenes in the previews with dragons fighting and stuff?  Yeah, that comprises about 10 minutes of this movie.  The rest is filled with some creepy dude telling a kid a story.  The kid grows up, and he’s supposed to seek out some chick with a funny mark on her shoulder.  He finds her.  Sexual tension ensues.  Blah, blah, blah.  Boring.  THEN, right at the end, there’s about 10 minutes of dragons just whomping ass.  That’s pretty neat.  But then it ends, and you end up feeling like you’ve just wasted two hours of your life.  I think I could have been more entertained watching my cats lick their asses.

So, if you want a movie with action and effects, watch Beowulf, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, or something like that.  Don’t bother with this movie unless you have insomnia, in which case it might be a great alternative to sleeping pills.